hell has frozen over

Yesterday it was 76 degrees - today, it snowed.

Our roof is currently shining bright white, this is an odd sight for us - partially because our shingles are in fact brown, not white - partially because I can count on one hand the amount of times it has snowed here, but more than anything its an odd sight because we have the only white roof on the block -Now it is possible all the snowflakes traveled to our roof because they simply like us better, but the more realistic possibility is that all the other roofs on the block belong to houses that have heaters blowing hot air, while our heater insists on blowing cold air.

The novelty of it all was quite endearing - we took too-dark-to-see-anything photos, caught a snowflake or two on our tongues and launched an arsenal of snowballs at our unsuspecting eldest child - fun was had by all - until reality set in...we don't own warm hats, toasty gloves or coats that are suitable for sustaining sub 50 degree temperatures for more than 15 minutes, I do own a scarf, and it is not coming off my neck until Sunday, when it is reported to get back up to the mid 70's !

ice and relativity

Our house is old, very, very old - as are the windows...the insulation is non-existent, the chill is never ending. Outside it is freezing, and so it is inside as well. I am sitting under the heating vent with the cold air falling down on me, yes - COLD air. Our heater blows cold air, yet we keep in on because the cold air coming from the heater is still warmer than the cold air seeping through the very very old windows. The bedrooms in the house are even more cold than the common rooms, so tonight I am charged with staying up while the tiny space heater removes an even tinier fraction of the chill from the children's rooms. Everyone is sleeping peacefully in their warm beds under their (three) extra warm comforters, I have an instinctual need to scream "NOT FAIR", but it will have to wait until spring when my vocal chords have defrosted.

I am aware that most of the world gets much colder then it does here in Texas, but in my own defense, really - it's all relative

will the tears ever end

on day 15 at 8:15pm we came home to every light in the house on...ON!!!!! After pluging in every electricity consuming product the crying and hot baths commenced!

thanks to the left - day 13

Two blocks from my house there is a pole that snapped in half, the upper portion lay on the sidewalk, the transformer is busted into a dozen pieces, some in the street some not, and blocks of power line are sprawled around the ground. Across the street from me is a long row of houses with their porch lights on - the street is still dimly lit as most of the street lights did not survive ike - to the left of me, on my side of the street is another row of porch lights, on my porch there is me, with a flashlight perched between my neck and cheek trying to get some schoolwork done, inside my wife is writting a paper by lantern light. It just so happens that the snapped pole two blocks from my house is the supplier of my electricity, it also just so happens that my house is the cutoff point. We, and about 4 other houses are the only ones ok the block without power, our estimated day is Sunday , but word is it could be longer. Things have improved, even though there is not an active power line connected to our house, there are 2 long extension cords coming from the left. We are now the proud owners of a powered fridge and 2 much needed fans. From time to time you might also spot a charging iPod or MacBook pro. There is still no cable or Internet on my block, but there is the occassional hot shower thanks to the left. Unfortunately shower time has moved to 6pm. Since there is no Internet Amy and I have begun alternating days spent at the public library studying - which is no place for our beloved monster child - so our time together is fewer and our hot shower chances are more seldom, but the kids are clean, so..whatever. I have been imagining our entire family cramped around our 5" black and white battery operated tv all week watching the presidential debate Friday, that has been the light at the end of my tunnel, I don't have much faith we will have power by then and so badly need something to look forward to, with that possibly being cancelled I mayl owe everyone a blanket apology for my bitterness from now until two blocks down there is an errect pole with a transformer in one piece and lines tightly buckled down to it...

day 11

We are on day 11 without power. According to the energy company we should of had power no later than this coming Thursday , I thought that was unreasonable until today when it was moved to this coming Sunday . We could get power before then, but with no trucks in sight it looks doubtful. I know there are worse things, really,I do... But that is little consolation... I want a hot shower, I want to cook a meal inside the house, I want to get dressed for work without a flashlight... I want CNN!!! My mood is poor. I fear my children are melting as they sleep. I am a little bitter that my wife is not as bitter as I am, she is better in these situations- she is better in almost all situations than I am. I am resisting the urge to cry as I try to build up the strength to take another ice cold shower in the dark and study by flashlight. Bleh!

10 days of us

Tuesday...
Pi: I dont feel well

Me: That sucks

Wednesday...
Pi: I still dont feel well

Amy: Lets go to the Doctor

Doctor: Its just allergies, your fine

Me: Cool

Thursday:
News: Theres a hurricane coming, run, hide, panic

Me: that sucks, I think my allergies are acting up

Friday...
Me: I dont feel well

Amy: Sorry

News: Hurricane is going to Corpus, dont panic

Saturday...
Me: I really dont feel well

Amy: damn, the baby has 102 fever

Me: but I really really dont feel well

Amy: Damn, Damn

News: Hurricane is going to Mexico

Sunday:
Me: I cant lift my head, I dont feel well

Amy: The baby is sick

Me: Lets go buy our new Mac Book Pro

Amy: You are sick, the baby is sick, I dont feel well

Me: If we leave now, we can be back in time for the football games

Amy: damn

News: Hurricane is going to Corpus

Monday:
Me: My new Mac Book Pro rocks, I think I have Bronchitus or Pnuemonia

Amy: I made you a Doctor appointment

Doctor: You have bronchitus on the verge of pnuemonia - take these meds

Me: that sucks

Pi: I feel great

Baby: I feel better

Amy: I dont feel so great

News: Hurricane is coming somewhere to the Gulf Coast

Tuesday:
Me: cant work, cant clean, cant cook, cant take care of re-sick baby or sick wife, must rest

Amy: damn, that sucks

News: Large hurricane is going to Matagorda Bay

Mom: I am under evacuation

Me: whatever, I'm sick, come to my house

Wednesday:
Me: I cant work another minute, too sick, coming home, not going to help with anything

Amy: You suck, I dont feel well

News: Hurricane may go to houston

Mom: I am still under evacuation

Me: Come to my house, Its been here 100 years, fyi I cant breath

Amy: I dont have time for a hurricane, damn

Thursday:
Me: I feel a little better

Amy: I am taking the baby to her 1 year checkup

Doctor: She has allergies, she is not sick...oh, and she is tall

Boss: Hurricane is coming, big, leave now and dont come back until monday

Me: score

Amy: score, you can run pre-hurricane errands with me

Mom: I am here, the hurricanes coming

Kids: We dont have school tomorrow!!!

Me: Grocery store sucks

Amy: gas station sucks

Me: Pet store sucks

Amy: Emergency preparedness sucks

Me: Coffee shop not so sucky

Me: More emergency preparedness is sucky sucky

Amy: worst case scenario planning sucks

Me: Must wake up early, much to do

Amy: Must stay up late, test due

News: Hurricane may go over your house, but may not be as bad as previously stated, but panic anyway

Baby: sleeping

Pi: sleeping

BT: sleeping

Mom: sleeping

Moms dogs: sleeping

Our dog: sleeping

Me: this sucks

Amy: damn damn damn

melancholy

Tonight is one of my designated study nights. Quiet room, soft lighting, no cleaning, no cooking, no distractions, no responsibilities. I need this night...I am already behind, so so behind. But I am also a woman obsessed. I have a deep obsession with current events. I read the paper (more accurately several papers)several times a day. If more than a few hours goes by without being able to peak at a headline I suffer deep withdraws, very very deep.

My obsession with politics runs even deeper. Election day is one of my favorite holidays. Good political banter can make me giddy with joy, I am not a giddy person.

Tonight I watched the RNC. The most intellectual recap I can offer...sad, so very very.

details...

...coming soon

some things just get bigger with time

There was a pop, an ever so slight one. There was ignoring, it wasn't that difficult to ignore. The occasional pain was felt, nothing too dramatic, definitely not a pain worth mentioning. Then there was the odd sensation that two parts of skin that shouldn't touch, were touching. A glance down revealed a swelling. Although I remember the pop quite well, I certainly don't remember it being worthy of swelling. Now the ignoring is getting more difficult, as the occasional pain has turned into a constant annoyance and a less than occasional pain. The was a decrease in swelling at night, now there is not...now, I have one good ankle - and one not-so-good kankle.

bad photos, little to say

Instead of writing, I have been avoiding. In my avoidence I have been clicking away taking one bad photo after another with my trusty iPhone. The words will be minimul, the photos will be less than great quality - I will return with more words and photos of not so less than great quality when I am done avoiding.


Kahlo has begun climbing up the couch - this entire process takes less than 2 seconds - which also happens to be less than the amount of time it takes for me to whirl around and catch her...I am proud to report there have been no falls yet, largely due to the fact she refuses to come off of the couch by herself - as a side note: I did not mean to make these photos are so darn small...

Pi has taken to commodering my phone and taking many many many blury pics of his little sister, consequently I have taken to deleting many many blury pics of his baby sister...

Pi playing with Kahlo, hiding under her high chair.

Kahlo learned to clap this week - here she is clapping that she has found a new favorite hiding place - the bathroom closet...



Kahlo not screaming in the car note: the car was not moving.





Kahlo being cute in pigtails. Note: It has been brought to our attention that she is "shooting the finger" I think this is not intentional.




Amy's birthday morning. Kahlo and her new love of straws.




Kahlo continuing her love for straws



My birthday, complete with 33 reasons why Amy and the kids love me. One of my favorites "You have really cool hair" Love runs deep.

love, more and less

I love my children...LOVE them. They bring joy and happiness to me in a way I never imagined before them. They make me smile. They give my life a purpose. They have given me insight that without them I would never have. Insight such as, I suck at Dance Dance Revolution, something I didnt know until Saturday evening. Or insight into the fact that just because you can hit an actual baseball does not mean you can hit a Wii baseball, something that I have known since last Christmas. They have devouted hours of their time cluing me in on what books an almost 13 year old girl must have and the importance of baseball cards. Through my children I have learned that I love my children more than I love coffee in the morning, something I not only cherish, but require for survival.

Admittedly, if I was actually faced with giving up coffee in the morning for my children I would be bitter, very very bitter.

I would also give up coffee in the morning for my wife, however I would not be bitter. The reason is simple. I love her more. And the reasons why I love her more are simple as well...

1. She never wakes me up in the middle of the night screaming for a bottle.
2. She couldnt beat me at Dance Dance Revolution if she tried.
3. Her kisses do not consist of slimy bites to the cheek.
4. She is not teething.
5. She does not love love love the color purple and therefor have to point out everything purple.
6. She doesnt show she is disgruntled by continuously stating "uhhhhaaaaa"
7. She doesnt talk about sports for hours and hours and hours and make me look at every single baseball card ever made.
8. She can summarize a move in less time than it takes to watch the movie.
9. She does not ask whats for dinner 7 times in 30 minutes and still not know the answer.
10. She knows that when I was a little girl the automobile AND color tv had already been invented.

Defiance

I don't surf the web at work, I don't catch up on my fav blogs or post make posts to my blog. From time to time Amy checks during the day... There is never anything new... The only thing I do at work is work... I work for "the man" and that's how he requires our day be spent - working. Today I had to come in early, something that generally leaves me bitter...so today, I am celebrating my bitterness with defiance ... In the most defiant stance my sleepy self can muster I am sitting hidden behind my monitor typing away via my iPhone..to you, my love (and anyone else reading) I say damn the man... Here is your at work post...

To the man I say- I fully expect to get paid for my time well spent not working

To my boss that just walked in with a puzzled look...uh...hmmm...hi?

blink blink blink

The baby is asleep, the dog is in bed, the kids are gone for the month and the wife is working out at the gym...and I am sitting here in bed with the laptop. No tv, no music, no lights just the blink blink blink of the curser. I have been away from blogland too long...I am cursing the curser for blinking, for not typing my thoughts as I think them. I am cursing my mind for not thinking thoughts. I have been in bed with a cold for a week. A horrible, mean cold that refused to leave. Now I sit, with undone tasks waiting for me, many of the tasks not even started. blink blink blink. Toys for the baby that need to be sanded...paintings that need to be painted...stories that need to be written...pictures that need to be taken, phone calls that need to be made...blink blink blink...

I am blaming this lack of posting post on being sick...Not much goes on during a week of no energy, of exploding head, of overwhelming congestion... other than the occasional "I think I'm dying" I have had no thoughts, no actions, no situations...no blog worthy stories...

tomorrow, dear blog - I will be better...tonight, blink, blink, blink

Sick

Very, very.

Overdue thought

Dear Wife,

I would like to apologize for the fact that sometimes I'm an ass. The only thing I can offer as a condolence to this fact is that sometimes, I am not.

always striving,
your wife.

Refusal

She feeds herself via her baby safe feeder. She chews on baby mum-mums. She drinks out of her sippy cup when she wants water. She tries to steel the spoon so she can feed herself babyfood.

She puts her arms behind her head and refuses to hold her bottle. Always.

A letter to Kahlo

Dear Kahlo,

I understand that Mommy is your other parent and as such, you two are extremely close. I understand that she stays home with you everyday while I leave for work. I understand that she changes your diaper more often than I do and that she feeds you, burps you and cuddles with you when ever you need. I understand that Mommy gives you baths and cuts your nails and lets your beautiful curls go wild. I understand that when you wake up at 5am Mommy is always right there to swoop you up. I understand that without mommy I would not have had the love and nurturing required to grow you 10 extra days and a very heavy 8lbs 7oz. I understand that every morning that you were in my belly, she told you she loved you and took the time to explain in what ways you should and should not develop that week. I understand that she has given you her stubborness and independence and that no one can capture the essence of who you are quite like she. I understand your bond, I love your bond.

I understand that Poppie came to see you while you were in my tummy as much as she could. I understand that she bought you the cute little Ani onsie that you looked so damn cute in. I understand that she (her wife also) is the only non immediate family member who saw you when you were minutes old, I understand she loved you instantly. I understand that she took care of your brother and sister so Mommy and I could take care of you the days following your birth. I understand that Poppie was the first person to ever babysit you and that she often offered her services unsolicited. I even understand that you and her share the same eye color...a special bond. I understand your bond, I love your bond.

While I do sincerely understand and respect all of these things, I need you to understand that I too would like to hear your first word.

so...when ever you are ready, I will be walking around the house all weekend dropping everything I can find in anticipation of "uh oh" ...

I love you always, beautiful baby,
Momma

the love between mother and child

My wife does not collect things, she does not hoard stuff. She has no knick-knacks, no must haves. She subscribes to the theory if you have not used something in the last 2 weeks, you do not need it She donates often. when a new toy comes in - an old toy goes out, when a new shirt comes in - an old shirt goes out. She is a minimalist - we are all minimalist by association.

There is a lone exception to this rule...books. Books are to be kept, loved, admired, respected, read and re-read.

Once, while browsing her books, she noticed one was missing. she looked everywhere. She searched. She hunted. She thought and thought. when all possible hiding places were exhausted, she cried. The missing book, was one of her top 20 favorite books. She was sad, very, very sad. And on top of sadness, she was disappointed...how could she have been so careless with a book...

She is not selfish with her books. They are there for all of us to read (as long as they are age appropriate). There are a few rules, no bending the spine back, please dont dog-ear the pages.

Yesterday Kahlo crawled over to the bookcase and pulled out a few books. She began to eat them. I expected Amy to yell no. I expected her to remove Kahlo from the situation. I expected her to cry a little. She didn't.

Instead of being protective she was actually pleased Kahlo had pulled out her favorite book. They were bonded...mommy and daughter had a love for the same literature. They pulled each and every book of the shelf, Amy oohed and aahed all her favorites, Kahlo drooled and bit. It was a beautiful site.

proof of unconditional love.

KahloWorld

Tonight, we decided to rent a movie and eat in front of the TV. By the time we were 11 minutes into the movie, we had already paused it three times.

It was one of those nights you realize life will never be the same. It wasn't a bad night - it was more of a ... "seriously? did she really just get poop ALL over herself and then decide to PEE ON ME!!!! " the answer - why yes she did.

Our 1.5 hour movie lasted about 3 hours. Three hours of pee, poop, bottle, squash, fussy, laughing,babbababababa and finally, with four minutes left...sleep!

a relaxing night watching a movie has turned into a full-blown-amusement-park-style-free-for-all-celebration-of-parenting... not what I had in mind - but fun just the same!!!

Kahlo + UglyDoll

domestication

A few moments ago I received this photo via e-mail from a friend of mine that had come over this past weekend. I fell in love with instantly! On this particular day, our friend had come over to talk photography with Amy. I spent most of the time removing the old kitchen faucet and installing a new one. Minutes before this photo a string of curse words effortlessly erupted from my face as I realized that I had not turned the water off, I had only turned the COLD water off.

Now, it is worth mentioning that our house is never this dirty. It is even more worth mentioning that Amy is a cleaning fanatic. To Amy, our house is filthy, to the world it sparkles. A pair of shoes in the living room can make her feel slightly insane, a dish in the sink can throw her over the edge. I have a routine with the kids on cleaning day...

"mommies going to clean, what are you going to do?"
them:"hide"
me:"yes, and if she asks for help, what are you going to do?"
them: "help"
me:"if she does not ask for help, what are you going to do?"
them:"hide"

now, in all fairness, I taught them this response. I find it funny. The kids and I laugh all day, Amy does not. Another note of fairness, she never forces us to clean, she is not irrational, she just requires sanitization.

back to the photo
I was struck by how filthy our house looks, how submissive Amy looks, how stern Kahlo looks. Its a stark contrast between our usually sparkling house, between Amy's fiercely independent personality, between our smiling baby.

I was shocked, that somehow I relate to this photo... this is not who we are, but it is who we are at times...

nap time

Changes

Our lives have changed drastically in the past year. Some changes were anticipated, some not. Some changes were small, others felt huge. We increased our family by one last August with the birth of Kahlo, we also decreased our income by one. Last summer before the birth of our daughter, Amy lost a parent. In the past year I lost a friend, not to tragedy, to a more fulfilled life for myself. This past year, Amy went back to school for the first time in many years – and I learned what it was like to be in school with a baby. I went from a very low-key and very far away job, to a not so low-key and very close job. Amy quit a high-stress, demanding job that kept her in touch with the world, on her lunch breaks she often went to the park and read. Now she is a stay at home mommy reading cardboard books and watching the kids play at the park while she feeds our ever hungry baby. Our son learned what it meant to be an older brother, our oldest daughter learned how to rebel. Amy and I learned how to exist on no sleep and a lot of stress. Kahlo learned how to sit, to crawl and to stand. We have gained weight, we have joined a gym, Amy has gone to the gym, I have thought about it. Our relationship has hit peaks and valleys, usually associated with the increase in stress and decrease in sleep. We slept with a baby in our room for 8 months. We reclaimed our room with passion a few weeks ago. I have been pregnant, hormonal, swollen and inpatient. Amy has been confused by my mood, over-worked and highly depended on. I have lost my art and am currently trying to find it. We are trying to eat better, to live more responsibly, to make our children aware of the world around them. For the past year, I have been happier than I ever have been in my life, yet I have also felt I was fighting a losing battle. A battle of sleep, stress and hormones. Lately, things have been changing. Kahlo sleeps through the night (mostly), Amy and I have re-found one another, I am settling into my new job and the older kids have settled in to their place in our newly enlarged family. Our life is still to some degree in chaos. The details are all running smooth – but after a year of so little time, so little sleep and so much change, Amy and I find ourselves with minds that wont stop, with list after list of things we want to do…with each other, with ourselves and with our children. All of these things are part of why we each decided to write a blog. To keep up with all of the wonderful things in our lives and to have an outlet to express all of the inner ramblings of our minds. With everything that daily life demands, our blog has gone to the back of the day to day to-do list. Last night, we made a promise to one another that we would make one post a day for the next 30 days. Here is mine. Post 1. I have no clue what I will post about daily. I ask that you keep in mind I am a visual artist – not a writer.

I love her mischievous eyes

good conversation with a good person

Amy: [in her - your lack of taking care of yourself worries me voice] Do you still have work clothes for the week, I have'nt been to the dry cleaners in almost 2 weeks.

Me: [ in my - I am playing with our damn cute baby and not really listening voice] I still have one or two things to wear, but I do have a lot of dry cleaning.

Amy: [in her - You silly silly woman what is wrong with you voice] well, baby, why havent you brought them to me?

Me: [in my - I love you more than anything in this world voice] because, baby...its not your job to do my dry cleaning.

Amy: [in her - you did not really just say that did you voice] oh, were you going to drop them off yourself?

Me: [ in my - have you not been paying attention for the last few years voice] no, you always take them.

as a side note... I have not taken my cleaning in - nor have I handed it off to my wife. I am slightly concerned that I may in fact have to go to work naked next week.
Now that I am getting more sleep, I dont really have an excuse for not paying attention to the details - all I can say is, now that I am getting more sleep, I want even MORE sleep and well, I think maybe my brain is only capable of absorbing so many details... and at the moment - I might be chock-full-o details.

exotic diseases from a land far, far away

Preface:
Mosquitoes don’t like me…they never have – I don’t like them either. Mosquitoes love the kids – they love Amy even more. On occasion, a rogue mosquito will sting me – it’s not common, but it happens. On the scale of annoyances in life, mosquitoes are a pretty small one, their bites are rare, I don’t swell up, I don’t itch, may day goes on as normal.

Mosquitoes love Amy. I imagine them hiding just out of site on our front porch, holding their breaths in excitement, waiting for the moment Amy must leave the safety of our home…From the door to the car they swarm, she can have 20 bites in a matter of minutes. 20 huge bites, bites the size of a nickel, a large, red puffy nickel that begs to be scratched. I find myself uncontrollably chanting “stop scratching” all summer – I chant over breakfast, over dinner, while watching a movie – I even chant in my sleep – the chanting never helps, the scratching never stops.

Confession:
I use Amy and the kids to my advantage. I invite them outdoors with me all summer long – in the event there is a rogue mosquito, it will bypass me and go strait for them. Sad, but true. I know no shame, I should be sorry. I should take one for the team – but I don’t.

The Story:
On this long beautiful weekend – we spent a lot of time outdoors. There were no mosquitoes out – at least none in my world. I vaguely remember Amy telling me her and the baby were going inside – that mosquitoes were eating her alive. I absorbed none of this conversation.

Sunday night, I noticed a few bumps on Kahlo. Amy assured me they were mosquito bites, no big deal – “they were bad today” she tells me…

Today – Kahlo’s legs were covered in splotches. I became mildly obsessive. Did she have some exotic disease from a land far, far away? Again, Amy assured me they were mosquito bites. I watched them all day…”those aren’t mosquito bites” I say – “yes they are”, she says. “ They are spreading” I say – “no they are not”, she says. “They are getting worse, they are changing colors” I say – “they are the same” she says.

“Why aren’t you concerned? She could have a disease from a land far, far away! She could have the measles – of the German variety, what if it’s Chicken Pox? An allergic reaction!!!” I am flustered.

“No, no, those aren’t measles of any variety – those are mosquito bites”

I ask my friend who was spending the day with us…”would you be concerned?” “I don’t know” she says… usually I find my friend helpful – today, my friend was not helpful.

I studied her behavior all day, all night.

“She seems to feel ok” “she doesn’t have fever” “she is eating and playing as usual” I say.
“Of course she is” Amy is not concerned, she is sure they are mosquito bites, she is hungry.

I obsess… I can’t help it. I studied her legs all day – even in her sleep, I popped in to check on her, raising her pant leg to search for any signs of a spreading exotic rash, or even a non-exotic rash from not-so-far-away.

As I was telling my friend bye, standing on the front stoop, she starts smacking herself (smack, smack), she is becoming annoyed (smack)… “man!(smack, smack) Mosquitoes ARE bad (smack) here” (smack, smack, smack).

The Moral:
Ah, well…I know Amy is right. Amy is always right (as a person who prefers to be always right, I am little bitter about this)… Even still, I have checked on her twice since writing this –she is fine - slightly annoyed that I keep messing with her while she sleeps- but fine.

Mothers Day with Sharks

Kahlo hanging out under the umbrella

What a long weekend! Since it was forecast to rain Sunday we decided to celebrate Mothers day at the beach Saturday. Packing up for a day at the beach with 2 kids and a baby is an all-day event within itself. After (what felt like) 3 hours of loading the car – Amy turned to me and said “Do you remember when all we needed were a few snacks, sun block and beach chairs?” She was tired, very tired – it was 10am and she had been up for hours preparing for our day – a day that was to celebrate mothers day – a day she wanted to be perfect for me…I wanted her to know that the kids and I appreciated her, to know that times really haven’t changed all that much…so, I reminded her that back then, when we could go off without any kids, we didn’t just need snacks, sun block and beach chairs- we also needed towels. Then I assured her that if the kids did not have an absolutely amazing time – I would ground them both, until they were very, very old.

Luckily for the kids, they did have an amazing time and Amy got some much needed relaxation. Kahlo and I spent most of our time sitting underneath our umbrella putting every toy she could in her mouth – after about an hour I realized it is pointless obsessing over all the sand – at a beach, no matter how much you try – you will leave with a sandy baby...

playing in the water

Amy, BT and Pi spent most of their time body-boarding, I went out myself once or twice, but after a small shark fin was spotted – I decided better them than me and stayed close to shore. Between getting eaten by a shark (Amy assured me it was only large enough to eat a hand or foot) or playing with the baby, I will ALWAYS pick playing with the baby…

they think they are fish - they never left the water

I am happy to say we made it home without being eaten by a shark.

This morning I woke up to coffee and kids jumping out from behind the table screaming “happy mothers day” – It was wonderful. As a mother’s day gift I got a scroll saw, I have been wanting one for a while.

Amy went out of her way to make this an amazing Mothers Day for me…it was.

Tonight, she was in bed before 7:30pm, it’s the best Mothers Day gift I could think of for her…I know she will wake up the second I climb in bed…I am trying to prolong that as long as possible.

three long weeks

I have returned…after three long, long, long weeks of finals preparation and settling into a new job…Somehow we have endured…I do not know how…

In the last few weeks Kahlo has crawled for the first time, stood without support for the first time and has had 4 teeth come in. Amy and I celebrated our 2-year wedding anniversary and the kids have survived another year of state mandated standardized testing.

Finals ended last weekend – we both entered this week feeling exhausted and renewed. We have been able to spend more time together as a family – giving Amy and I that “oh ya, that’s why we had children, I forgot we liked being parents” moment.

Last night we took the kids to one of our favorite coffee shops. We made up an impromptu game of trivia. The rules – you have to ask a question you don’t think anyone else knows, it has to be about someone in our own family, you have to know the answer. It was a good reminder that children do indeed have small brains.

The questions varied from “what is the first thing mommy would do if she won the Lottery” to “what is BT’s favorite color”… some of the highlights:

“What does mama (me) do at work” answer: “ohhh, ohhh, I know! She plays on the Internet and draw pictures” (ummm…no)

“What does mommy (Amy) do all day while we are at school/work” answer: “she watches movies, checks her e-mail and takes naps” (I think she is still bitter about this one)

“What do you think Kahlo will be when she grows up” answer: “ She likes to bang on things so maybe she’ll be one of those tough chicks that builds houses or something” (Pi is not sure she will be able to get a job because she cries all the time)

“What makes BT more mad than anything else in the world” answer: “mommy”

I have truly missed my family!

a day most important

happy anniversary, beautiful.
always yours. always...

Gentle Reminder

Dear self,

Don't forget you love sleep and that you think mornings are horrible.

From time to time, you like to pretend you love school and work, when really - you love guacamole, you really really do.

Toys for Monkey

I get ideas in my head...too many ideas. I tend to think I can do anything, or at the very least that I can make anything. If you couple the fact that I think I can make anything with the fact that I love to make just about everything you have an endless supply of projects and to-do lists. So, when I found myself browsing for new toys that Kahlo just "must have" (which really means that I must have for her) the thought came accross my mind to make her some toys myself. So I did. I spent last weekend, not working, not studying, not going to class, not cooking, not cleaning, not being productive in any way what-so-ever...BUT instead of all those (not nearly as fun) things, I found myself, cutting and sanding wood and painting my very own designs onto blocks. Although they did not come out perfect... they did come out - I now have a little more of an idea on how I can make them even better next time!

here they are...

Bear



Elephant



Monkey



Owl



Pigs



Shark



All mixed together.

monster makes noise

Last night, when we went to check on Kahlo she was on her stomach with her knees folded and her rear up in the air. It was cute. Damn cute. I held Amy close to me as we had an ultra-cheesy-motherly moment of staring at our perfect child [or monster - whatever]. We ohhhhed and awwwwed much longer than any two adults should [at least any two adults with a life outside of parenthood]. Just as I was questioning my sanity for staring so long at a small child sleep [I do have MANY MANY other things that should be done], Kahlo let out the largest, nastiest fart you could EVER imagine! I'm not sure how such a loud noise comes from such a small butt...we both almost died trying to keep the laughter down to a minimum...we need more laughs like that...

momma and baby

As promised...On Sunday I took over all baby duties and Amy got some much needed rest.

Our day began as follows

5:43am

Amy: Are you really going to let me sleep in?

Me: [in a deep coma-like stupor] uhmmhmmm

Amy: Then why are you sleeping?

Me: [vague sounds of a wailing baby begin to find their way to my ears] I'm up!!!!

within the first 2.5 minutes I leap out of bed, use the restroom, change a diaper, make a bottle, grab my blanket and pillow and small child...and we journey to the living room to begin our day...

This is a pictorial essay of our morning...

we stumble into the living room suck down a bottle and play for hours [I spent my early morning still in a stupor, getting slapped by the occasional stray ball or baby foot]

Kahlo slept for about half an hour...I dont have a picture of this as I was trying my best to sleep AND stay alert. [hardwood floors do NOT make for a comfortable nap]


I got dressed for my day...[Kahlo watched from the bathroom floor]





We [she] ate





She fed herself











Let the dog out [after she begs and begs and begs then does the pee pee dance]








Boiled water






Made bottles






Packed diaper bag





Went to the grocery store for ingredients to mommies favorite meal





Got take out of mommies favorite brunch





woke mommy and wowed her with our productivity [10:30am]



for the purpose of NOT being repetitive I left out feedings and diaper changes (1 poopie and 3 wet]

As a side note: Amy was very impressed with all that I had gotten accomplished [until she walked out of the bedroom and found toys scattered, baby food all over the kitchen, dirty clothes in the bathroom, formula spilled on the counter...]

When you hate what you love

I hated being pregnant…the whole thing…every day…I hated it. It was a horrible miserable experience that felt like some evil combination of the flu and pneumonia and towards the end, just to make things even better, my entire self swelled up to the point I was seriously concerned I would burst out of my own skin…it was awful…pure awful.

At one point [pretty early on] I became bitter – I felt lied to, betrayed, deceived by all of those women [including my wife] who had told me how much they loved being pregnant. Who loves feeling like they have the flu for 9 long, puffy, nauseas months? They had tricked me and I fell for it. I often wondered through my pregnancy how the human race had sustained itself…why did people keep having children – sure the kids were great, I love the two that came from my wife’s womb – but why would anyone have more than one! When faced with my questions [usually in the form of a rant] Amy would just respond casually “oh, I didn’t find it to be that bad, I liked it”. Yet, whenever I would complain about something like, waking up every hour to go pee, she would get this wicked smile on her face and say “yah, I didn’t like that part”…really? Who would?!?! Then she would add something extra like “hey, have you peed on yourself while you sneezed yet? No? Well, make sure you cross your legs when you sneeze” and she was right… I DID pee on myself..A LOT…

My wife had described childbirth as invigorating, empowering, liberating all the wonderful ing’s you could imagine. Maybe, just maybe, childbirth would be the reward for pregnancy…I anxiously awaited her arrival. I waited for my due date to come, then I waited daily for her to decide today was the day…she didn’t want to come out…she would have to be forced out…day 1 of induction, no problem…this I could do…with my wife next to me, I did feel a bit empowered, then day 2 came – most of day two is a blur – after contractions so horrible [not invigorating] that I was naked throwing up on the floor, I gave in to the temptation of drugs. The nurse decided I needed an anti-nausea medicine to stop the vomiting – apparently the drug works by putting you into a deep coma, therefore preventing any body fluids from coming up [not a literal coma, of course]. Well I hardly remember any of the events leading up to my c-section… but what I do remember is that my c-section was NOT invigorating, or any other ing’s…

But Kahlo was.

And suddenly when I look back, pregnancy wasn’t so bad. My wife was always amazing. Every morning she kissed my stomach and talked to our baby. She paid attention to my every need. She loved me when I was unlovable. Feeling Kahlo kick inside of me was incredible. Watching our baby grow [and grow and grow and grow] inside of my stomach was truly amazing.

Having her here, on the outside, melts my heart.

I want another. I want to do it all over again. But not yet…

Right now is my best friends turn! She just found out her wife is pregnant! I cant wait...
I hope for my best friend, her wife is better at being pregnant than I was…

A conversatin with my son...

We were all sitting on the front porch (Pi, BT, Kahlo and myself) and one of the kids asked how old Kahlo was now. "7 months" I say "so that makes BT 12 years and 7 months old (she was also born in August) and that makes me 32 years and 7 months old (as I was born in August as well) and that makes Mommy 33 years and 7 months old (yes, she too was born in August)" Pi looks at me and says "Oh, so I'm 10 years and 7 months old?" Slightly confused, I respond "no, you were born in March...you just had a birthday, you are not even 10 years and 1 month old yet."

You can see the wheels turning in his head... you can see thoughts and realizations processing as the synapses begin to fire... he says "OH, I GET IT!!! You birthday is the day you were BORN!!! I always thought mommy just picked that day!"

seriously? really where does this come from? I mean... he is a bright boy...Honor roll student, and he's not that kid thats smart and has no common sense... he gets things - he pays attention... seriously...how can this be a question... where have I gone wrong... hmmmm

The newness begins to fade

Setting: I am in the bathroom getting dressed for work. It is 6:15a.m.. I hear Kahlo cry, since this is the second time she has woken up in the last hour, I go to the kitchen to make a bottle (so Amy doesn’t have to get out of bed) and take it to Amy. By the time I reach the bedroom Kahlo has stopped crying and Amy and Kahlo are snuggled close in bed sleeping.

Me: Awww…ya’ll are so cute.

Amy: [eyes closed, trying to remain asleep] uhmm,hmmm

Me: did she just need to snuggle?

Amy: [Amy silently wishing I would stop talking] uhmm, hmmm

Me: Do you love sleeping with her in the mornings? [at the exact moment I am asking this question kahlo rolls over and smacks Amy in the nose with her cute little baby fist]

Amy: [slightly irritated that she just got smacked in the face and even more irritated that Kahlo and I are both interrupting her 4 hours of sleep - in the cutest whine you can imagine] uhhh, I’d rather sleep alone!

Note to self: wake up early Sunday morning and take Kahlo to the living room. Amy needs sleep.

Resignation notice: effective immediately

This was written at approximately 10:46 a.m.

Dear Family,

While you [my perfect family] were leisurely eating cinnamon toast I was sitting on a freeway filled with construction for 1.5 hours. [stupid construction]

While you are (at this very moment) blowing air bubbles, amusing children, channel surfing or doing whatever it is one does on a Saturday morning, I am being lectured on the importance of composition functions from a NASA engineer. [bleh]

When you (all of you) begin to notice a grumble deep within your stomachs, I will be staying late after class making up this mornings test. [damn construction]

While I sit here…slightly irritated, largely frustrated [stupid, stupid construction] I have come to a very important decision… I quit. I quit all things that make me a productive member of this family. I am going back to being a slacker. For this I offer no apology.

BT can write all my future papers, Pi can take over all the fix-it/handy work, Kahlo can reduce stress and add humor, Haley can tend to the yard work and Amy (my beautiful , beautiful wife) can take over all things algebraic. We will have to order out dinner nightly as none of you can be trusted with my beloved spices and cookware.

If anyone needs me I may be found lounging in the backyard hammock with an Iced Hazelnut latte casually reading a long book about someone elses struggles in life.

Please do not interrupt said lounging without proof of fire, blood or vomit.

P.S.

The fact that in reality you spent the morning with a fussy baby cleaning house all day after a night of no sleep, offers no condolence to me and should not be brought up in defense under any circumstance. I am bitter. I am very very bitter. [damn damn stupid construction. ]

Another beautiful picture taken by Amy.

waiting waiting and more waiting

I have not written in about 2 weeks. I have been too busy to write… I have been very very busy waiting… and when you are busy waiting you cannot do things as trivial as writing.

Why have I spent so much time waiting? Simple. Because it’s fun. At first I did not think it was fun, I waited simply because there were things I was waiting on…then I read something with the words “the waiting game”, and I realized waiting was a game and games are fun, therefore waiting must be fun – and since I need more fun in my life, I thought I should spend more time waiting. So I did, and I have.

Things I have been waiting on…

1. A job offer – I have since stopped waiting on this as I have received a job offer and turned in my resignation at my current job.
   
   
2. To buy a home – I am still waiting on this – but I am no longer waiting on a particular house – with a little effort (or lack of effort) I can keep waiting on this for a year or more…
   
   
3. For Kahlo to end the vicious cycle of teething – at this moment she has 2 full bottom teeth, 1 top tooth that has just broken the gums and 1 top tooth bulging-but has yet to break the surface. She was sweet – now, well, she is still sweet – but more in that monster-nothing-make- me-happy sort of way.
   
   
4. For my oldest daughter to find her brain… yes, she lost her mind. She decided that all rules/morals/values do not apply to those that are 12 and in need of nothing – I have faith that she can find her mind, but since she is prone to laziness I am not sure how long she will look for it. Amy and I have kept our eyes open, but have yet to see it around the house.
   
   
5. I am waiting for my new glasses to come in – this is a short term wait.
   
   
6. I am waiting to find out if my best friend and her wife are pregnant – another short term wait.
   
   
7. I am waiting to gain mathematical intelligence by osmosis – it seems ridiculous to actually study if I can possibly find a way to extract the intelligence from my wife’s brain and place it into mine – my deadline is tomorrow. It’s not looking good.
   
   
8. I am waiting to gain the motivation to paint. I have the need. I have not the motivation. I am simply too tired. There is nothing in this life I would like to do more than sleep.
   
   
9. I am waiting to want to do something more than sleep.
   
   
10. I am waiting for 3:30pm – when I can drive home.
    
    
11. I am waiting for my co-worker to get back from lunch so we can chat more via I.M. (it’s more fun than working).
    
    
12. I am waiting for Kahlo to crawl – she is close, she is on all fours, she is swaying back and forth, she is wanting to move, she is motivated to move – she just cant get that right knee to go forward…stupid knee.
    
    
13. I am waiting for my dog to give herself a bath – we taught the kids – certainly she can learn – it’s not too much to ask…really – I feed her, I water her, I let her out when she wants, I make her bed, I (I being Amy) wash her bed, I provide her with shelter , I give her an unlimited supply of biscuits and greenies, I watch her weight for her– certainly after all this she can bathe herself. Really , Haley – get with the program.
    
    
14. I am waiting for my back/neck/spine to stop hurting – it currently feels as if this wait will last forever.
    
    
15. I am waiting for my wife to realize how much I love her – yes, I am a complicated soul – it’s hard to read my mind [so she says], just read my words [so I say].
    
    
16. I am waiting [I don’t know on what] to hang the new baby swing.
    
    
17. I am waiting (impatiently) to run away with my wife (and only my wife) on a vacation to some random third world country (providing that third world country has ocean access). This may be the hardest to wait on…

The cutest baby ever!

posing for mommy

First time on a swing

I cheer, you cheer, we all cheer...

Pi turned 10. He has joined his older sister in double digit birth years and is quite proud of it. We had a small family festivity… dinner out, cake, presents and cheerleading. Yes, Cheerleading - what every boy dreams of - the whole family taking turns giving cheers. My heart melted a little as Amy got up and did a cheer – (I have always had suspicions there was a peppy girl living under that even exterior – and now I have the proof).

Cheerleading…family cheerleading…It was…I don’t know what it was – it defies description by me – The cheering was a mishap – it should have never been– but on the designated party supply day, about 5 minutes after Amy backed out of our driveway – hail began falling from the sky – so it was decided, all shopping must be done at one location – one location that happened to be out of orange gift paper, but was not out of orange pom poms…which created a nice effect hanging over the gift bag like long plastic streamers…creating not only the perfect decoration – but memories of giggling cheers as well…

In other news –

Kahlo is teething, officially, which means she is officially fussy. I thought (wrongly) teething would be a breeze – after all she got her first two teeth without symptom – apparently I suffer from delusional ideology. Apparently when hard sharp objects begin protruding from babies very soft gum line, the only rational thing for baby to do is scream herself into hysterics , creating the need to suck her thumb for comfort – promptly causing baby to bite her thumb with one of the said hard, sharp objects that protrudes from her soft gum line, which leads directly to more screaming, which prevents baby from sleeping, sleepiness is unbearable – the only way to deal with such an unbearable state is to scream, louder –longer –more meaningful screams means it’s time for a warm bottle and gentle rocking of the chair – this leads to baby [FINALLY] sleeping, which leads to two happy moms that gently put beautiful, sweet baby into crib – which causes instant screams… it’s a cycle – a vicious – long – exhausting – cycle…

- I am sorry beautiful stay at home wife, your job is no doubt harder than mine. [love]

the world stopped last night

Amy is sick – or she was – she could still be – I am just not sure. But yesterday – she was sick, she said she was not – but she was. She always says she is not sick – right up to the moment she has a 104 fever and can’t lift her head more than 2 inches off the pillow – then she exclaims with shock “I think I’m sick!” Yesterday she was able to lift her head off the pillow – but not for long – the smile was drained from her face, her voice was dull and flat, and she spoke only when spoken to – Amy is sick.

When Amy is sick, our world stops, then it spins out of control – we don’t really know what to do… she does so much – I walk around in circles, knowing I need to do something, but not sure what.

After work I stopped by the grocery store to pick up some items to make one of Amy’s top 5 favorite meals – [which she hardly ate – Amy is sick] I got home, checked in on Amy [who told me she was not sick] and started my culinary masterpiece, we ate [she hardly ate] everyone was happy, except the “not sick” woman.

A typical after-dinner conversation goes like this:

Me: I’ll clean up

Her: no, you cook, I clean

Me: you had a hard day, I don’t mind

Her: Vada, you had to work all day, I’ll do it

Our conversation goes on and on like this until I either give in OR we both clean up…

Last night our after-dinner conversation went like this:

Me: I’ll clean up

Her: ok

Amy is sick.

After dinner/cleaning we [Pi, Kahlo and I] were off to basketball practice, where I spent the entire hour dodging flying basketballs. Leaving, we were all proud – Pi had made most of his baskets and I had managed to evade any flying objects…that is until we were mere feet from the door, when a ball came out of nowhere and smacked me right on the nose [about ½ an inch from Kahlo’s face] we all survived…

Back home…

I checked on Amy who was still “not sick” and still in the same position in bed – she did not need anything…

Kahlo fell out instantly – lucky for me. I quickly washed bottles, boiled water, stitched Spot (the stuffed toy dog) back together and began preparing homemade baby-food for the first time. That is a whole story in and of it self – needless to say the squash ended up in the trash can – but the pears made it to the baby cubes.

I checked in on Amy again before going to sleep myself, at that point she was not speaking, only grunting – if I interpreted the grunts correctly she said she is not sick and does not need anything… my interpretation could be wrong – she could have been begging for water – grunts can be hard to decipher…

This morning she said again in her meek , sleepy voice – that she was not sick – she then turned to Kahlo who was stirring and told her it was NOT time to wake up yet … Amy is sick

Election Day

Yesterday was election day - an exciting day in our family - Amy even made election day rice krispie treats!

This is the first year our older kids (10&12) have shown much interest, making it even more fun for the two of us...last month we took the kids to the Obama rally, surprising to us, they had a great time (Kahlo slept through the entire event). On the way home they recited many of his points and added what they liked about his ideas.

At school yesterday Pi's 4th grade class voted for president. The tally:
Obama 17
Clinton 3
McCain 0
Huckabee 0

This is what I love about The Heights...there is a noticeable lack of a republican vote... just the thought of all the mini-democrats running about is enough to make me smile, even on this very busy-stress filled day.

Amy early voted, I voted before work yesterday morning. We went together as a family to caucus last night. There was a wonderful and exciting feeling in the air - until we got home and realized Clinton would not only take Ohio but Texas as well...

Pi and BT

Kahlo - Birth to 6 months

6 month Dr Appointment

Kahlo had her 6 month appointment on Monday (I know, today is Wednesday – I am behind). I was not able to go with her, probably for the best – last time she got shots I cried more than she did and her pediatrician had to stop to make sure I was ok… Amy of course, handled it like a pro, keeping steady nerves, cooing at Kahlo when needed and gently swooping her up to console her afterwards - I guess the whole gentle-reassurance-steady-loving-hand is one way to go about it, but personally I prefer the stooping-in-the-corner-bawling-like-a-baby method…

On to the stats… at 6 months she is 18lbs 12oz and 27.5 inches long. She is in the 95% with height and 92% with weight… all and all a big healthy girl!

The Pediatricians Topics for Discussion:

• Teeth (Kahlo already has 2)

• Sitting up (A skill she has long mastered – well, not really long, more like a few weeks…)

• Rolling over (the task is getting her NOT to roll over, rolling over is something she does at will)

She has already made all the milestones that should be expected! Yep, I am good at this baby-thing!

We both love that her pediatrician not only supports our positions on sustainable/organic/environmentally responsible living, but also raises her own children with the same beliefs. She gave us some more advice on making our own baby food and the importance of organics as well as some good brands to use for organic/natural toys.

We ordered some organic seeds and plan to try and raise our own veggies for her baby food. Amy and I both kill all things plant-like – so there are mild concerns about the eat-a-bility of said veggies BUT it will be fun trying.

Kahlo at 5.5 months